• Kaitlyn Parrow

How to Implement the 5 Love Languages in Your Life

Updated: Jul 22

Everybody is different; everybody has their own unique way of how they show love and how they interpret love. Whether you are currently single, in a relationship, or have a special bond with a family member or friend, it is important to understand the way you love.

Understanding the way you love and figuring out how to implement the 5 love languages into your life is the key to strengthening any relationship. Dr. Gary Chapman, author of The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts states, “My conclusion after many years of marriage counseling is that there are five emotional love languages—five ways that people speak and understand emotional love.”

So what exactly are the five love languages?

Words of Affirmation

The first love language, words of affirmation, focuses on verbal expressions of affection; this encompasses anything from encouraging your loved one, expressing words of appreciation, or actively listening. According to Psychologist Terri Orbuch, Ph.D, affective affirmation is “letting your partner know that they’re special, valued and you don’t take them for granted.”

What You Can Do

Send your partner an unexpected text, card, or note. It can be anything from “I love you,” to “I am so grateful for everything that you do.”

Quality Time

This love language is all about giving your partner your undivided attention: that ranges from paying attention to them or sharing something meaningful to communicating and listening to them. A person who values quality time really appreciates one-on-one time with their significant other.

What You Can Do

Put down your phone and set aside anything else that may distract you. Create special, undivided moments with your partner like cooking dinner together, going for a walk, or even spending a night in together. Make this a daily or weekly ritual to make your partner feel like they’re spending enough quality time with you.


People who speak this love language truly believe that “it’s the thought that counts.” Essentially, gifts make them feel appreciated since it is clear that in obtaining it, you were thinking about them. Dr. Chapman says, “The thing that works best is picking the right gift that shows you understand your partner and the effort you made to express love.” This reflects that these gifts don’t need to be expensive or elaborate items, they more so should be something that symbolizes your appreciation for your partner.

What You Can Do:

Give thoughtful gifts that show your loved ones you care. It can be anything from a homemade card, a bouquet of cheerful flowers, or their favorite snack you picked up for them while at the grocery store. Just remember, little things mean a lot to this person!

Acts of Service

This love language emphasizes lightening the burden of responsibility for your significant other; going out of your way to help them really means a lot to someone who values this language.

What You Can Do:

A simple act of service can be anything from taking the dog out to helping your partner out with the dishes! It can also be a bigger gesture, like bringing them breakfast in bed. If you really don’t know what your partner wants, all you have to do is ask! Even just in asking, it lets them know that you are thinking about them and wanting to do something to ease their burden.

Physical Touch

This love language focuses on the non-verbal use of body language to show affection. Physical touch is one of the most direct ways to communicate love. For someone who values physical touch as their love language, nothing shows your love for them more clearly than you initiating reaching out and touching them!

What You Can Do:

Give them hugs throughout the day, or touch their hand or arm while having a conversation. Even something like offering your partner a back rub after a long day will help convey your love to them!

Implementing the 5 Love Languages in Your Life

Ultimately, not everybody expresses love in the same way; implementing the 5 love languages in your life can help you gain a better understanding of your relationships while growing and strengthening your bonds with others. If, after reading this, you are thinking to yourself, “I’m still not sure what love language I speak,” then click here to take the 5 love languages quiz and see for yourself!

If you enjoyed this article, or want more tips on how to better engage with and express love, check out our article. “How to Deal with Temper Tantrums and Respond with Love.”

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